5 THINGS: FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD DO IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP NOW

As I look around, I see so much struggle in marriages and relationships. I guess because there are humans involved, and we know how to mess things up pretty well.

Relationships are complicated. Marriage is work.

Love...is so, so, worth it.

When I think back on married life after three years of living single, it amazes me. I'm pretty sure we made nearly every relationship mistake possible. It's only by God's grace we were able to piece things back together, rebuild, even after a two year separation, and walk out the toughest thing we could ever face: a cancer diagnosis, a battle for time, and saying goodbye.

Oh sure, we faced all the problems you face each day too...raising kids, paying bills, leaky faucets.

I think we faced those things with less grace and courage than we did cancer and death.

WHY? Isn't that silly?

I guess it was necessity. We can easily argue over what's more important until something REALLY important, life altering, comes up.

But, oh, the perspective gained when a doctor says, "...terminal. You'll not survive this."

My prayer for you is that you choose to love one another well, and prioritize your marriage and relationships and people.

This has been among the most valuable lessons for me, and I believe for my kids, through loss: don't miss an opportunity to love, and to move past differences.

Here are FIVE THINGS you should consider doing in your relationship or marriage today:

1. FORGIVE. 

...AND forget. Then as a matter of forgetting, don't ever mention it again.

2. RESPECT your husband/significant other.

3. LOVE your wife/significant other.

In a relationship, men desire respect, women desire feeling loved. Read Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect. So simple, so true.

4. STAY funny.

A little humor goes a long way. I sometimes resort to sometimes really ridiculous humor, mostly to point out that if we can laugh about it, it may not really be worth arguing about. Be ridiculous.

5. STAY playful.

Remember how and why you fell in love, and revisit it. Often. Carve out time and have fun. Prioritize this ABOVE the kids if you have them. Just please trust me on that. Your kids will thank you later.

5 Things: GOOD Guy - GODLY Guy

ONE thing I know for sure about dating when you're all grown up...it's NOTHING like dating when you're eighteen or twenty.

We know stuff. We've lived stuff.

We've developed intuition.


We've watched far too many episodes of crime dramas.

All that stuff makes us wiser, discerning, and eliminates some potential for heartache.  And for being kidnapped and held for ransom in a remote cabin in Montana.

I've been dating now for a year and a half since losing a spouse to cancer three years ago. I could blog about the hilarious circumstances I've been in, the ironies, the lessons.

I will. I have learned SO much, so how could I not? I've made mistakes...and I've turned a blind eye at times to some glaring and critical differences. I've also made some amazing friends.

These FIVE THINGS are a short collection from a tattered piece of paper typically found on my fridge at home. It was given to me by a friend and coworker, Craig Norrenberns. I believe his Dad handed them down to him. I asked him to jot them down when my daughter was experiencing her first relationship six years ago. I'm thankful for the men in my life who are amazing role models to her, and to me.

I hope these help you, or that you can pass them along to a friend or even to your own daughter.

FIVE THINGS: Good Guy vs. GODLY Guy

1. A good guy will respect you.
   
    A GODLY guy will TREASURE you.


2. A good guy will go to church.

   A GODLY guy will live a life of worship.


3. A good guy will do his best.

    A GODLY guy will depend on GOD, because he understands he can't do it alone.


4. A good guy says he is a Christian.

    A GODLY guy LIVES like he is a Christian.


5. A good guy has thick skin.

    A GODLY guy has a SOFT HEART.