As I look around, I see so much struggle in marriages and relationships. I guess because there are humans involved, and we know how to mess things up pretty well.
Relationships are complicated. Marriage is work.
Love...is so, so, worth it.
When I think back on married life after three years of living single, it amazes me. I'm pretty sure we made nearly every relationship mistake possible. It's only by God's grace we were able to piece things back together, rebuild, even after a two year separation, and walk out the toughest thing we could ever face: a cancer diagnosis, a battle for time, and saying goodbye.
Oh sure, we faced all the problems you face each day too...raising kids, paying bills, leaky faucets.
I think we faced those things with less grace and courage than we did cancer and death.
WHY? Isn't that silly?
I guess it was necessity. We can easily argue over what's more important until something REALLY important, life altering, comes up.
But, oh, the perspective gained when a doctor says, "...terminal. You'll not survive this."
My prayer for you is that you choose to love one another well, and prioritize your marriage and relationships and people.
This has been among the most valuable lessons for me, and I believe for my kids, through loss: don't miss an opportunity to love, and to move past differences.
Here are FIVE THINGS you should consider doing in your relationship or marriage today:
1. FORGIVE.
...AND forget. Then as a matter of forgetting, don't ever mention it again.
2. RESPECT your husband/significant other.
3. LOVE your wife/significant other.
In a relationship, men desire respect, women desire feeling loved. Read Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect. So simple, so true.
4. STAY funny.
A little humor goes a long way. I sometimes resort to sometimes really ridiculous humor, mostly to point out that if we can laugh about it, it may not really be worth arguing about. Be ridiculous.
5. STAY playful.
Remember how and why you fell in love, and revisit it. Often. Carve out time and have fun. Prioritize this ABOVE the kids if you have them. Just please trust me on that. Your kids will thank you later.
It breaks my heart to read about your loss. Thank you for sharing the 5 things. This made me realize how we too often focus on the the less important things. I will apply these 5 things more into my marriage and pass this on to my children as they are now young beginning adults.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
I pray in Jesus name. . God's blessings rest upon you and your children
Thank you for sharing your life experience. My husband and I have been together for 24 years and make all the same mistakes. We both are believers and love the Lord but at times do not extend the same grace God extends to us. I get irritated with little things my husband does and forget how he was there for me during my cancer. I appreciate your 5 things and pray I will allow the Lord to work through me to accomplish them.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Kelly. Thank you for your ministry at JOY FM.
Anne Miller
Our daughter has been in treatment for nearly five years. Bless you today and always and thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I could not agree with your five things more. There are so many ways to end a marriage - and I would never wish the death of a spouse on anyone. I have found that all five are so vital to a healthy relationship...unfortunately, too late for me. Thank you for sharing! And I agree that Eggrichs' writing is so spot on!
ReplyDeleteI am Theresa by name, GREETINGS..... My name is Theresa Addison, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man called Prophet Akeem online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love my husband and allow me to marry him without any quarrel, thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad loved him more than before,we are now happily married with a baby boy,please help me in thanking Prophet Akeem for his help, here is the email:Prophetakeem@gmail.com CONTACT HIM FOR HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF PROBLEM. You can view on his website: http://Prophetakeem.webs.com/
ReplyDeleteWell said Kelly. Love your family and my prayers are with you. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete